Embrace the information age childen of mother nature. Throw down your crude tools of propagation and germination, give up your livestock and fowls. Behold the new Nokia 6220.
This is what you need and want, if you knew it or not. Chances are your neighbour already has one. How does that make you feel, second best, out of the loop, behind the times? Well frankly it should. Get out from under your sheltered backwards rock and live for the now, go out immediately and beg or buy but don't steal (Nokia are people too) one of these little electronic organs. Soon you will wonder how you ever coped without it's little reassuring clicks, beeps and infonuggets. You are it and it is you. Abandon all hope ye who cross this line for there is no going back, this is the future, this is now.