Thursday, 3 July 2008

When marriage goes wrong.

Before meeting Ian, Janet was almost normal. He left her one night after refusing to have children. Being 47 years of age Janet gave up on the idea of human maternity and turned instead to the hairy-wee-smelling solice of Guinea Pig ownership and protection. She bears a tattoo of Scrabble "her baby," on her left arm to commemorate the night when she and her comrades liberated 3000 guinea pigs from Huntington Life Sciences. They released the animals into the surrounding countryside. Sadly their taste of freedom was short lived, damp and cold. They were all eaten by the local foxes whose numbers swelled that summer to such biblical proportions that the local farmers were forced to spend thousands of pounds on shotgun cartridges and traps. Badgers, deer and domestic dogs were not the only casualty of this bloody time, a Mr Hamberton from Lower Eame turned his gun on himself after mistaking his best sheep dog for a Fox and shooting him. Good one Janet.

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